Friday, April 29, 2011

My Secret Life as a Group of Women

Not that there's anything wrong with that.
One of the weirder pleasures of writing this blog is that, from time to time, as I wend my way across the assorted gathering holes of the manosphere, I discover the natives chattering candidly about little old me, apparently forgetting that I actually read the forums they hang out on. These conversations tend to be a little, well, surreal.

You may vaguely remember The Troll King from a post of mine a couple of weeks back on his brief career as a faux-feminist calling herself the Feminist Troll Queen. I recently found him in the Men’s Rights subreddit on Reddit, trying to defend himself against charges of, well, trolling, and suggesting that some of the subreddit’s resident trolls are “manboobz followers and probably feminists from feministe.” (Not that I know of.) But the strangest thing was this reference to me as a person of indeterminate gender:

I saw him talking about not being able to become pregnant on one of his posts recently about gangbangs and MGTOW and I wouldn't be surprised if it is a female with a male internet persona or maybe a FTM transperson??


Whaaaa? It took me a little while to figure out that he was referring to a dumb joke I made at the tail end of my post about MGTOWers speculating on why some women like porn. Here’s the joke, such as it was:

Now, I’m no evolutionary psych expert, but, er, what exactly is the evolutionary advantage of facials? I’m pretty sure you can’t get pregnant from semen on your forehead, in your eyes  or, say, up your nose. (At least I never have.)


Hey, I didn’t claim it was a good joke. In any case, for anyone confused by it, the idea was to humorously suggest that I was such a frenzied masturbator that I regularly shot semen up my own nose. And that this had never made me pregnant. Not only because the semen was in my nose rather than my vagina but because, you know, I’m a non-transgender dude, and non-trans dudes can't get pregnant. (Also, even if the semen were to get in my vagina I wouldn't get pregnant, because I DON'T HAVE A VAGINA.) (Some trans men can get pregnant, but THEY CAN'T GET PREGNANT FROM SEMEN UP THE NOSE either. NO ONE CAN.)

For the record, I would also like to point out that have never actually shot semen up my nose – or, for that matter, on my forehead or in my eyes.

Not that there’s anything wrong with that.

In any case, Troll King’s confusion about my gender – especially strange, given that he himself had just engaged in a bit of internet cross-dressing by posing as the Feminist Troll Queen -- got me thinking back on one of the more surreal aspects of my domestic violence debate with Paul Elam last fall, which was the assumption on the part of a group of his followers that I was not just a woman, but a whole group of them.

As “Frank” put it:

“David Futrelle” argues like a provocative feminist woman, or perhaps I should put a group of feminist women. 


Note the personal abuse, the petty point scoring, the personalised arguments, and the lack of any real evidence or examination of the issues under discussion.


There is also the (supposedly) witty sarcasms, and the (supposedly) funny rudeness while ignoring hard points backed up real evidence. So typical of the misandrist feminist woman.

“Roderick” concurred:

I suspect the the sarcastically named Manboobz is a group of young ‘educated’ woman.

– note: {Often I have found that mediocre woman always work in groups. Woman who have higher abilities tend to work independently from the protective huddle.} (Who bravely hide from accountability or challenge)

“Alphabeta,” meanwhile, has a slightly different take on it:

I wonder if Futrelle is a woman disguised as a man or perhaps a woman in the making. His/her words have the whirr of the hamster wheel about them.
Remember this?
http://mensnewsdaily.com/2010/04/22/mens-studies-foremost-authority-opts-for-castration-literally/

What right-thinking man advertises his intellectual wares as ‘manboobz’? Sounds like wishful thinking at the very least.

Yes, he's arguing that this blog is called "Man Boobz" because I want some.

I don't, actually.

Not that there's anything wrong with that.

So, once again, to clarify: misogynist dudes, when I refer to “boobz” in the title of this blog I am referring to you. It’s a double entendre. “Boobs,” yes, can refer to breasts. But “boob” can also mean “an ignorant or foolish person.” Do you see where I’m going with this? YOU GUYS ARE MEN, AND YOU ALSO ARE BOOBS. The “Boobz” in “Man Boobz” ARE YOU.

She's my sister... She's my daughter... My sister, my daughter.  She's my sister AND my daughter!

Oh dear. I got carried away.

I should probably explain that the last bit there was from Chinatown. I do not have a sister who is also a daughter. Evelyn Mulwray does. But she’s not a real person.



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45 comments:

  1. *Headdesk* Some dudes CAN get pregnant. Trans guys are guys, men, dudes, and some of them can and do get preggers. Granted, not through facials, but trans and intersex men in some cases do give birth. One of the earliest US legal cases on intersexed individuals legal status involved a plaintiff who was declared male (and therefore able to vote). After the trial, there was a kerfuffle when it was discovered that he menstruated. Trans guys have also had pregnancies. In fact, it used to be the default in the US for psychiatrists to tell gay and bi trans guys to get pregnant to "cure" their transness. Pregancy is not completely determinitive in regards to sex, and it certainly is fucking not in regards to gender.

    Don't respond to transphobia with more transphobia.

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  2. David, there's no need to pretend. You can be open about being a group of women if you want. We're your commentariat. We're not here to condemn your life choices. We understand.

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  3. I will call you Victor/Victoria from now on, Dave.

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  4. I'm 12 ducks in a person suit, if it helps. Only by breaking the silence can we be recognized.

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  5. I joke about "the hamster wheel turning" when I'm thinking hard about complicated things and now I feel very self-conscious about it. It doesn't mean I'm an idiot or a somehow particularly feminine idiot, it just means there's a little hamster in my head powering my thoughts!

    I don't like having my adorable head-hamster turned into a slur.

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  6. Just want to signal boost DarkSideCat's "some dudes can get pregnant" comment. It's a true fact! I have several friends who are, in fact, dudes with uterii!

    And it's been pointed out to you before. Saying "I'm a cis-man" or "I don't have a uterus" gets your point across just fine, without the transphobia.

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  7. Yeah, dude. Erasure of trans men is not cool.

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  8. Obviously David was talking about his sex being male (that is, his lack of vagina or uterus), not his gender. Then you guys are blaming him for not taking into account other people of the masculine gender. Sex and gender is not the same thing, people (unless it's different for feminists, I don't know). If you're going to whine like feminists, at least whine for an actual reason.

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  9. DSC, Simone, Ozy, you're right, and I'm sorry. I've rewritten the relevant section of the post.

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  10. francois, no they're right. The way I originally worded it basically erased a group of people. Also, if I'm going to make categorical statements about biology, I should probably also make sure I get the biology right.

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  11. Is this all they do at MRM meetings? Come up with new ways to call David a mangina?

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  12. I see, so, "BOOB" refers to a foolish person.

    Can we also refer to an idiotic person as maybe a "vagina"?

    How about referring to a weak person as a "pussy".

    Funny Dave - you engage in the very thing that feminists are supposed to hate.

    Oh no - silly me I forgot, they do not hate their anatomy being used to refer to derogatory characters...

    They just simply hate men.

    Jeeeez - I cannot believe I forgot that for a moment...

    It is odd that no feminists are griping at you for using the term "boob" to refer to an idiot - isn't it?

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  13. I'm actually an intelligent shade of the color blue.

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  14. "Bubbies," the apparently forerunner to boobies, was used a lot in Victorian porn.

    Or so I've, er, heard.

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  15. Geeeez. Don't acts of mental gymnastics like this get tiring after a while?

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  16. Now stop being such a bobo.(Elizabeth)


    One of my first experiences in highschool in regards to belittling others used that word. They referred to it as "Bobo lane". Thanks for the history lesson.

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  17. This comment has been removed by the author.

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  18. Hey, David,
    Your site was recently blocked as "pornography" by my school's internet filter. It was fun explaining what "boob" referred to. BTW, there's a literary character, Mr. Booby, who dates from the 1740s. He's a parody of another famous character, Mr. B, who, before he "reformed," could be considered a poster child for the MRA movement. He makes a lot of the same arguments as MRAs when he's in the middle of sexually harassing someone with less privilege than he has and denying that he's doing it. Cheers for continuing a noble literary tradition!

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  19. I wish I was a group of women. I'd be a feminazi punk band called The Knees Apart Girls and all our album covers would feature castrated man-parts and aborted fetuses.

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  20. BTW, there's a literary character, Mr. Booby

    brb, going to the county clerk to get a name change form.

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  21. Trip--check out Henry Fielding's "Shamela,"it's like the MRA Ur-text. Mr. Booby is (to borrow some Game lingo) a beta who's failing pathetically at negging this total 9 who's a virgin (he thinks). But she's actually banging the alpha parson. There's some girl-on-girl action and cross-dressing, too. And all the women are total WW slut whores after men's sperm and money. And there's a character named "Tickletext." Not making this up.

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  22. Well if it's any consolation I don't think your a woman, group of women, or trans-gendered.

    Your just a runt.

    You put up that picture of Charles Altas so folks will think your not.

    Your entire adult life has been about coping with the aggressive sexual displays of bigger, taller, more attractive men by throwing anti-male grenades at them. That's why your a feminist.

    Small wonder you have so little concern for false rape accusations and such. A sexual loser WOULD consider these to be luxury problems.
    And at any rate you support the false rape/harassment industry because it acts to jail all those better men you can't compete with.

    You and your mangina ilk are what you have always been since high school. Nerds who think they can win the cheerleader if they can get the football captain jailed as a rapist.

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  23. So...you're saying that David insults people to affirm his own nonexistent masculinity? Hmmm...

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  24. I hung out with a large number of nerds in high school and they had no interest in cheerlearders. It is a fantasy of men like you EWME to want the cheerlearders, they preferred girls who knew how to play things like chess.

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  25. EWME, you use the word "think" but I see no evidence of such a process taking place.

    You just keep telling yourself that us "nerds" can't compete with Real Manly Menz like yourself. Then you won't have to think about where women go when they get sick and tired of being treated like chattel. Or when they want something better then two pumps and a grunt followed by snoring. :)

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  26. Eh, I was gonna respond to EWME, but honestly digging out an inch long sliver sounds both more enjoyable and more productive.

    I would like to contrast something in the OP with EWME's shit:

    "“David Futrelle” argues like a provocative feminist woman, or perhaps I should put a group of feminist women. Note the personal abuse, the petty point scoring, the personalised arguments, and the lack of any real evidence or examination of the issues under discussion." - "Frank"

    "You and your mangina ilk are what you have always been since high school. Nerds who think they can win the cheerleader if they can get the football captain jailed as a rapist." - EWME

    So.. obviously EWME is really a group of provocative feminist women! Or.. Something like that. I dunno.

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  27. Contrary to stereotypes, many nerds get laid a lot. And nerd sex is awesome.

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  28. @thefemalespector - That sounds like a hell of a book. I will definitely look it up.

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  29. I should probably also add that while arguments should not be personalized, insults should. This is the great failure of the MRAs; calling someone a made-up in-group word like "mangina" is about as effective as calling someone a "bicycle-cabbage."

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  30. @ Kirbywarp:

    I'm pretty sure EWME is a bicycle-cabbage.

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  31. @MertvayaRuka
    :D

    @triplanetary
    On nerd sex, anybody remember the movie Revenge of the Nerds? I seem to recall a couple scenes that were of particular relevance to this discussion.

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  32. "Small wonder you have so little concern for false rape accusations and such. A sexual loser WOULD consider these to be luxury problems.
    And at any rate you support the false rape/harassment industry because it acts to jail all those better men you can't compete with.

    You and your mangina ilk are what you have always been since high school. Nerds who think they can win the cheerleader if they can get the football captain jailed as a rapist."

    The football captain isn't the one typically being jailed by the false rape/sexual harassment industry. THEY are the ones who don't need to worry about such things.

    Those of us feminists (and gamer cult members) label as "creeps", "losers", and "nerds" need to worry. Keep targeting "nerds" and see what happens. Once all undesirable "omega" males are eliminated, who do you think they'll go after next? Do you think your "Alpha" delusions and your Roissy-Bardamu Magical Gamer Mind Tricks will help you then?

    You are every bit the misandrist Futrelle is.

    There's more to life than sex.

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  33. "Well if it's any consolation I don't think your a woman, group of women, or trans-gendered.

    Your just a runt."

    I'd have to agree.

    I don't know if the picture of that ugly little kid is actually Futrelle - I don't recognize it.

    Assuming it is Futrelle, he was an ugly, scrawny kid raised by a single mom who didn't bother to give him regular haircuts.

    Hopefully that's not actually a picture of Futrelle, but just a representation of his twisted psyche.

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  34. Eh, ok, I'll bite. Nothing better to do.

    @forweg
    "There's more to life than sex." Yes.
    "" No. Just... No.

    @Misandry et al.
    Its true, you better hope that Futrelle is some twisted psychotic. Because if he is sane, and even half the things he posts on this blog are true, the MRM is a big hairy ball of hatred and mysogyny that is about as relevant as something the cat threw up. Your pet cause is not only NOT a way to strive for a better society, but one that actively impedes such progress, and makes everyone part of it look like douches.

    And you yourself are the worst kind of person; the snot-nosed six year old looking at real trauma and real problems and declaring at the top of your lungs "Me too!" The kind of self-entitled brat that will shovel food into his mouth whilst looking at the starving masses and demand your share of the handouts.

    You (to put it delicately) are scum, and its a testament to stoicisim and patience that David puts up with you while continuing to expose your movement for what it is: passive-aggressive, reactionary bullshit.

    *bows* Thank you for your time.

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  35. Hmm, It would seem that my quote from forweg disappeared. This was how it was supposed to go:

    "(Everything else)" No. Just... No.

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  36. "Your just a runt."

    So is Stephen Hawkings, and has it not been said that "you only exist by the Hawk's Permission?"

    "You put up that picture of Charles Altas so folks will think your not."

    I am pretty sure David is not Charles Atlas on the basis of David is alive while Charles is not. Unless. David is a ghost... The most muscular of all ghosts!

    "Your entire adult life has been about coping with the aggressive sexual displays of bigger, taller, more attractive men by throwing anti-male grenades at them. That's why your a feminist."

    David is also ashamed of the lack of aggressive colouration, his puny horns and the inferior thickness of his skull.

    "Small wonder you have so little concern for false rape accusations and such. A sexual loser WOULD consider these to be luxury problems."

    They are. If you stop sleeping with drunk women, and start sleeping with sober ones you stop getting rape accusations.


    "And at any rate you support the false rape/harassment industry because it acts to jail all those better men you can't compete with."

    That is plain retarded. I can think of a dozen ways to mock your movement without having to rely on jailing my opponents under false rape charges. I am sure David can think of more.

    "You and your mangina ilk are what you have always been since high school. Nerds who think they can win the cheerleader if they can get the football captain jailed as a rapist."

    I object. I was a rugby nerd. Rugby scrum half and "nerdy things". I still didn't get the cheerleader because I wasn't that attractive in high school. Uni changed all that until my recent geography enforced celibacy.

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  37. Forweg,
    I do understand that from your perspective there are profound differences between omegas, gamers/PUAs, MRAs, and MGTOWers. But from my lady-brain perspective, you all blur together into a cacophany of "blah blah blah...women are just super massive stinky black holes that absorb all the light that radiates from my masculine awesomeness...blah blah," so it's difficult to tell you apart except for the "to bang women or not to bang, that is the question" spectrum. If it makes you feel better, I'd rather deal with you than with someone who thinks I'm a life-support system for a neurotic hamster. In other words, none of us feminists (male or female) are trying to remove omegas, alphas, or anyone else in the alphabet from the gene pool. Although if you feel like doing it yourself, be my guest...I certainly wish whosit with his hamsters would. Have fun with the fembots!

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  38. Plus there aren't any omegas. It's alpha, beta, gamma, delta, and epsilon, duh. And can't you guys start wearing the right colors?

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  39. "Those of us feminists (and gamer cult members) label as "creeps", "losers", and "nerds" need to worry. Keep targeting "nerds" and see what happens. Once all undesirable "omega" males are eliminated, who do you think they'll go after next?"

    And why, then, are you not storming the wire of the feminazi re-education camps to free your falsely-accused brethren? I mean seriously, if you're going to go into this "they're gonna wipe us out" persecution fantasy, you might as well go all in.

    Or as Avicenna mentioned, you could just not put yourself in situations where consent is possibly compromised or questionable. But that would take some kind of strength of character and self-discipline. If you had that, you wouldn't be the angry, scared little weakling you are.

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  40. Sorry, cboye, I didn't intend to be heterosexist. I can only speak about how I experience misogyny as a cis hetero woman. It's my belief that cis hetero men who hate women also hate everyone else who isn't a cis hetero man (and generally of the same race and class, etc., as themselves--all these hierarchies are interlocking, it's why I prefer "kyriarchy" to "patriarchy"). I didn't mean to suggest that misogynists are the only ones who don't want to have sex with women.

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  41. ...that was a Brave New World reference.

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  42. Doh! Oh, the pain, the pain...clearly my black whole sucks my brain as well as the light radiating from MRA awesomeness.

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  43. Can we maybe find a different term than "gamers?" Just because I have this open in one tab, and another tab open at privateerpressforums.com, and the term is becoming contextually confused as a result (granted, this may be a fairly me-specific problem).

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