Wednesday, November 24, 2010

Consent. It's so ... American.

Hey ladies!
Sex is so confusing. Take the whole notion of "consent." How are you, as a dude,  supposed to keep track of whether or not, say, a woman has actually consented to sex with you? I mean, are you supposed to ask? If she says "no," how do we know she's really saying "no?" Maybe she's saying "know," as in, why don't you "know me" in the Biblical sense? Like I said, it's very confusing. 

Apparently things are a lot simpler in France, at least according to this dude on Jezebel. In France, apparently, if you happen to espy a comely mademoiselle, you can just start groping her:

At the clubs in the 8ème, off the Champs-Élysées, and all along Rue de Rivoli, it is fairly common to watch men literally grab and touch the girls who weave through the crowd. Men often draw a finger down an unknown girl's cheek or under her chin like a doting Uncle; they can be seen pinching girls' noses, throwing arms around shoulders and even stealing kisses.

And according to this dude, whom no one's ever heard of, the French ladies love it, just love it!

Parisian women deny or accept these advances with a decisiveness many American women lack. Naturally, some girls in Paris walk away and reject these strong come-ons. But one can observe many of them reacting with knowing laughter; these women understand the game. ...
Parisian women seem to derive a feminist power from this chauvinism that makes them come across as strong, self-determining, and completely aware of themselves as permanent objects of desire. And drunk or sober, it seems Parisian women get exactly what they want while their men, if rejected, are left to hammer doggedly away at other targets.

That sounds about right. I mean, what woman doesn't want strange men hammering doggedly away at them all hours of the day every time they step outside?

It's all very sophisticated. Very Continental. Heck, it's very The Continental.

Anyway, so apparently some feminist bloggers are, you know, griping away, like the ladies do, that Jezebel, ostensibly a feminist-ish blog, would run such a thing. Ladies, come on! What are you, prudes? Americans? Men who read this dude's piece may lighten up a bit and start acting a lot more French. Who are you to deny the women of America the chance to have strange men, with questionable personal hygiene and an extensive knowledge of cheeses, running their fingers down their cheeks?

Note: This post contains sarcasm.

17 comments:

  1. Leave Christopher Walken out of this.

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  2. lol...the "character" in the pic along with the caption is just hilariously fitting to the content of this piece.

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  3. "I'm not suggesting that a woman have sex with someone she doesn't want to, but I'm hoping we can start having more guilt-free sex by any means necessary. If we turn the volume down on consent, perhaps we'll get closer to this kind of liberation."
    David's malicious tactics are laid out for anyone who reads the piece in its entirety. "Groping" brings to mind excessive fondling after she says "no." He conveniently overlooks (or underlooks - eye disease?) many statements which are not in line with his radical views.
    "Parisian women deny or accept these advances with a decisiveness many American women lack."
    I get touched by women sometimes in clubs. I don't mind it - if I'm interested, I'll make a joke. If I'm not, I'm not and I politely decline by either ignoring it or with negative body language. I'm an adult, I can move on - that's what adults do. They don't scream Bloody Mary about a simple gesture. However, simply touching a woman as a joke can get you on the sex offender registry.
    Thanks to your precious feminism, we have garbage like this happening. Tell me, David, that these children would still have to register with the child molesters in the absence of modern feminism. Feminism has become a malicious, bloated tumor now. It might have served some benign purpose a long time ago, but now it must be isolated and excised from mainstream society.
    Fun fact: The prosecutor was arrested for domestic assault against her husband. It doesn't get much better than this - well, except for the kids and her husband she wanted to sacrifice to make a statement.

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  4. This comment has been removed by the author.

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  5. Wasn't it Gloria Steinem that described that situation as ok, and said that it was only a problem if someone persists in touching after they have been told no?

    In america, if a drunk woman brings a man home, ties him up and fucks him, he can still be a rapist. Duke University feminists introduced the idea of progressive verbal consent, "can I now touch your breast?", "can I now open your bra?" and the idea that if two people that have differing social power have consensual sex, its rape. If a man feels as free to touch a woman as a woman does a man and does so in america, he risks very serious consequences.

    The point is, using american feminist standards to judge other cultures is very arrogant. Extreme anti sex/anti male sexual attitudes, sexual attitudes that infantalise women and political sex are not the norm in Europe and why should they be?

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  6. IR: Thanks to your precious feminism, we have garbage like this happening. Tell me, David, that these children would still have to register with the child molesters in the absence of modern feminism.

    Some links .... yahoo search... 4,5 6, 7 8, 9, 10 year old boys... sexual harassment... rape...

    4 Year Old Boy Get Suspended for Sexual Harassment
    http://www.associatedcontent.com/article/102372/4_year_old_boy_get_suspended_for_sexual.html


    5-Year-Old Boy in Maryland Accused of Sexual Harassment - Let Children Be Children
    http://www.associatedcontent.com/article/108497/5yearold_boy_in_maryland_accused_of.html?cat=25

    School Suspends 6 Year Old For Sexual Harassment
    http://www.talkleft.com/story/2006/02/09/017/25038

    boy, 7, cleared of sexual harassment charges for kissing classmate on her cheek
    http://www.highbeam.com/doc/1G1-18788787.html

    Boy, 8, accused of sexual harassment, passing love notes to girl, asked to sign a notice of emergency removal form for sexual harassment http://www.zwire.com/site/16373145.html

    Rape Charges Dropped Against 9-Year-Old Arizona Boy
    A judge has ruled him incompetent to stand trial because he's too young to understand what's going on.
    http://www.truecrimereport.com/2009/12/rape_charges_dropped_against_9.php

    10-year-old boy was arrested Wednesday on a rape charge - the boy is accused of having sex with his 7-year-old stepsister.
    http://www.whiotv.com/news/15023764/detail.html

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  7. @OP - This is very sad. It would be interesting to hear from actual French women vs. this douche.

    It's male privilege at work - female stranger's bodies can and are violated by men and it's just supposed to be ignored or taken as a "joke". Well, that completely ignores that women are NOT public property! And they shouldn't have to deal with that day after day. As for touching in general, it's not like it's limited completely to men on women. E.g. some muslim men can't be touched by women who aren't their wife due to religious reasons. Plus, it's hypocritical - are there any MRAs or het men in general who would be okay with a bunch of gay guys forcing kisses on them and pinching their asses? Can you imagine if that happened? Course, it wouldn't b/c gay men in general don't act like privileged het men assholes who think they can force their sexuality on others...oh and before you start, gay pride or even just kissing other gays in public isn't forcing their sexuality on others so STFU before you start...

    In Canada, it's an affirmative consent law i.e. only yes means yes. Also, men can be legally raped by women i.e. rape doesn't mean only when penetration occurs. And rape shield laws have an exception that it can't violate the rights of the accused i.e. if the accuser has made accusations before that were proven false, this can be admitted in court. Additionally, statutory rapes of minors have the exception of their partner to be up to 2 or 5 years older (depending on the age of the minor) i.e. though the age of consent is 16, a 13 year old can have sex with a 15 year old.

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  8. Tec
    When women violate strangers bodies is that male privilege too, or is it female privilege, or do we brush it under the carpet because it inconvenient?

    Also, Ive been technically sexually assaulted by both women and men and it was up to me to say yes or no, like these French women do.

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  9. Of course not, it's assault even if it's women on men. You just can't ignore the institutional power that allows men to engage in those activities nor the patriarchial gender binary norms that also make sexual assault by women on men as the men being "lucky" or "not really rape".

    Either is wrong. Both are systematic of kryiarchy.

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  10. @Eoghan: It's Antioch University with the progressive verbal consent.

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  11. Yohan, yes it's ridiculous to charge 5 year olds with sexual harassment. The Jezebel post is about adults harassing other adults.

    Eoghan, of course it's assault if women do it to men. No feminist here has ever suggested otherwise. Indeed, Tec, in the comment immediately before yours, states explicitly that men can be raped by women.

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  12. This whole progressive consent thing is bullshit; I was brainwashed with it in high school and on my first time with a woman she wondered what the hell was wrong with me that I kept asking her permission for every little thing.

    Asking permission for the very first step of sexual contact, i.e. a kiss, for the very first time with a particular person is reasonable, but from that point on it should be up to either partner to utilize their vocal cords and say "no" or "stop" if they don't want it to go any further.

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  13. @Tec & David - would 5 year olds be still charged with sexual harassment if modern feminism liquidated? Can you acknowledge that feminism, with its sexual harassment and "hostile workplace" hysteria, is what caused these frivolous charges against children? Can you acknowledge that without feminism, men like Andy Worhal would still be alive and battered men would not be shamed and ostracized? That without feminism, the Duke Rape trial would have never even seen the light of day? Can you at least see that much?

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  14. If your 5-year-old is under the impression that it's okay to pinch people's butts, he should get a very stern lesson otherwise.

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  15. @snobographer, exactly. No child should have to endure sexual harassment in school, period. The fact is that children can be and are raped and assaulted by other children.

    The issue in schools is 'zero tolerance' policies. Just as the best way to deal with a five year old commiting another form of assault is to address it and give punishment appropriate for their age, the same applies to sexual harassment. A note and an aspirin isn't the same as breast groping and cocaine, and a reasonable school discipline policy should address that. Sexual harassment of children by other children in schools is a serious issue that needs to be dealt with, but zero tolerance policies are not a good discipline model in any area.

    On the issue of children commiting violent crimes, this is a difficult issue for legal systems to deal with in general. On one hand, it generally seems to harsh to punish a child the same as an adult, even for the same crime, on the other hand, the victim has endured the same damage.

    @IR, "you acknowledge that without feminism, men like Andy Worhal would still be alive" Warhol died from complications of a gall bladder surgery. That hardly seems to be the fault of feminism. Feminsim, destroying one gallbladder at a time. "battered men would not be shamed and ostracized?" Battered men are generally ostracized under the old patriarichal notion that women are innately weak and no 'real man' could ever be 'beaten by a girl'. "That without feminism, the Duke Rape trial would have never even seen the light of day?" Interestingly enough, there was no 'Duke Rape trial', the charges were dropped in this case before it ever went to trial. Which makes me think you don't actually care much about it, you have just started throwing it around as a buzzword.

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