Sunday, December 5, 2010

He's quite the Caulksman

Hello, lover! (When they say "All-Purpose," they MEAN IT!)
The Happy Bachelors of the Happy Bachelors Forum may not be so happy, but you can't say they're not ingenious -- and thrifty! In a recent discussion of masturbation, onezero4u asked

anybody tried the "fleshlight" before????

i made a homemade one out of half a empty caulk tube, about 10" of bicycle inner tube to line the inside & some duct tape to secure it on the outside. dammmmm i didnt leave the house for a month after that.

That's right. He turned a caulk tube into a ... cock tube.

I also like how he specifies he used ten inches of inner tube. Because this guy having sex with a caulk tube wants you to know he's hung like Ron Jeremy!

Great. Now I've got to get THAT image out of my head.

Some MRA/MGTOWs sure are obsessed with fleshlights.

24 comments:

  1. Now, how can anyone not respond with snark to tidbits like this?

    Looking for love at Home Depot!!

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  3. Now, how can anyone not respond with snark to tidbits like this?
    - Katty
    How can a feminist not respond with snark to anything? The girl can't help it!
    Seriously, do you women and honorary women ever try using logic or rational thought to back your statements? It's always about "feelings" and intangible measurements. How about something quantifiable for a change? If a report doesn't follow your feminist theory in lock-step, it needs to be doctored up.
    No wonder feminism is old, corpulent, and dying.

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  4. Oh IRssy...it's just so cute how you change people's names in order to try to speak condescendingly to them. Too bad it doesn't work.

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  5. Using logic makes you happy. How do you spell irony? LOL.

    Oh, and the Catholic church says that every time you masturbate, God kills a kitten.
    There's a 3X3 mile kitten grave yard out there with my name on it! Wanking is fun!

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  6. IR: Do you have a sense of humor? I'm sure the guy who wrote the post was chuckling himself while he wrote it; otherwise he wouldn't have ended his statement with "dammmmm i didnt leave the house for a month after that."

    Quantifiable? You want some pie charts and Excel spreadsheets over my quip to a guy's report on his DIY fleshlight? For the record, everyone masturbates - ain't no big thing! We all do it and most of us can laugh and make jokes about it.

    Relax and get a grip (heh heh!).

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  8. "A post on masturbation, a fantastic opportunity to restate my belief that women are illogical and opperate only by feelings!"-IR

    IR, come on, you can do better. Don't just parrot centuries old misognynistic ideas, go out and invent your own! Where's the spirit of creativity?

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  9. How was any of what I said misogynistic?
    I was referring to feminists - the few men littering their movement are often apologetic, miserable whelps who curse their sexuality and their gender. It's common courtesy to refer to them as "honorary women."
    I'm sorry if I confused you. It almost seems like you're looking for ways to showcase your sex as miserable and subjugated. Poor girl.

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  10. Hahaha, IR. I was referring to your statement that women/feminine people do not use logic. The idea that women are illogical is an idea often parroted by misogynists.

    "A post on masturbation, a fantastic opportunity to restate my belief that women are illogical and opperate only by feelings!"-IR


    Sorry I confused you.

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  11. Sandy, I never said that. Are you hallucinating things or are you just stupid?

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  12. IR, I was paraphrasing this in a comical manner:

    "Seriously, do you women and honorary women ever try using logic or rational thought to back your statements? It's always about "feelings" and intangible measurements. How about something quantifiable for a change?"

    Are you humorless or is your sense of humor merely blocked by your rage against women and women sympathizers and their so called "feelings"?

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  13. @Sandy - I'm not humorless. You just aren't funny - funny has to be something new and fresh. "Misogyny" has been cheapened by feminists like you, so it's just boring and dull. That, and people don't tend to laugh when you insult them - maybe if your life wasn't a pathetic string of handouts you'd know these things.
    Also, I'll just fix up your cute little misconception - I don't hate women. Therefore, I'm not a misogynist.
    Also, feminism does not represent women, and feminists are not "woman sympathizers." Feminism is more about either placing any woman's faults on the male sex or advancing women by any means necessary. That includes, as you have illustrated, lies, misrepresentation, and deception.

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  14. @IR - really? Cos I think Sandy's pretty fucking hilariously snarky here... just b/c you don't get the humour =/= it's not funny. Stop projecting.

    @OP - lol wtf? Is his nickname McGyver? Why would you not just BUY a fleshlight??? It's like, "no, I'd rather put dangerous chemicals on my cock. I luv the sensation of burning flesh."

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  15. I think, after reading IRssy's comments throughout this blog, that it's plainly obvious he hates women and is a misogynist. I just don't think he "defines" his hatred and misogyny that way.

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  16. As usual, IR shows his complete inability to understand systems of privilege " It's common courtesy to refer to them as "honorary women."" Um, if women were considered so perfect and privileged, this would be a compliment rather than an insult. There have been volumes and volumes of books written on 'honorary whiteness' and 'honorary maleness' and how being given a sort of exception based place amoung the privileged gives one access to realms that usually would be unattainable. Not that IR cares, because he clearly sees being linked with women or feminitity as an insult.

    "Seriously, do you women and honorary women ever try using logic or rational thought to back your statements?" For someone who claims not to be referring to women in general, you sure do start plenty of your diatribes using 'women' as the subject.

    On the subject of DIY sex toys, meh, whatever. If all these dudes did was sit around and beat off, rather than spewing vicious hatred towards large swaths of humanity, I wouldn't care about it in the slightest. Really enjoy your caulk tubes? Whatever, go for it.

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  17. How is the concept of having a fleshlight any different than women recommending hitachi vibrator's to each other? Please explain. I assume men who use sex aids are losers. Is that the implication? Thanx in advance.

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  18. You really need someone to explain to you why a DIY fleshlight made from a caulk tube is funny?

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  19. "As usual, IR shows his complete inability to understand systems of privilege"

    As I have asked many feminists but always get a dumb answer with no substance, what privileges do men exactly have in western societies like America?

    This has to be explained in substantial detail or else, I can criticise feminism the same as David criticises men's rights

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  20. @David - it seems sad and pitiful more than anything. I don't take pleasure in the suffering of men. This is because I am not a feminist.

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  21. Nick type in male priv into a search enginge and look for articles with lists, some give long lists of criteria for what white male priv is. One criteria is being oblivious to what it is because you don't have to think about it and aren't faced with it. The lists are interesting, but I suggest you look at two or three lists, they vary. Also it's best to type in WHITE male privilege. You can just skip through the race related ones if you're not interested, but the lists are interesting and will help you think about the topic. One Mark of online harassers is that they badger people for information they can look up themselves because they are trying to be annoying or catch someone in a "gotcha" moment. -Theresa

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  22. "Online harasser?" Really now?
    What if he wanted a quick, English, tangible example of how men are privileged above women? And don't even start to relate your status as a woman to a black male's status. Black men and white men have a lot more common with each other than black men and women do in that:
    1. Black males and the general male population are both more likely to be incarcerated
    2. Black males and the general male population both live shorter lives
    3. Black males and the general male population often have to overcome derogatory assumptions, some even forwarded against men by the mainstream feminist movement (all men are potential rapists)
    4. Black males and the general male population both are more likely to be murdered. Seems men are a lot better at hating each other for being men than hating women for being women. No, don't even start blaming the victim on this one - a man no more asks to be penetrated with a knife or bullet than a woman asks to be sexually violated.

    Give me some hard, physical examples of how your theoretical feelings of "oppression" has any connection to a black man's physical, day-to-day oppression

    Then, with typical feminist snark, you assume he's a "harasser." You entitlement-whores never cease to amuse me.
    No, calling you an "entitlement-whore" is not more a declaration of organized warfare against the female sex than calling a man a "pig" is a declaration of a "sex war" against men. Stupid entitled feminists.

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  23. @IR, wtf is this bizarre notion you have that there can only be one type of oppression. Of course racial oppression exists. I have never seen any feminist on this blog deny that fact. But gender oppression also exists. Both are unique and both are harmful. What about other forms of privilege and oppression? Is a black millionare not privileged as a rich person? Yes. Does that mean that they suddenly become exempt from racism? No. People can be priviliged in one aspect and oppressed in another. And *gasp* once again, folks, women of color exist. Feminists of color *gasp again* also exist. Shoot, even if the only oppressive system you were capable of recognizing is the race system, you should at least be grouping black men and black women together as racially victimized, instead of asserting that black men have more in commone with white men in a racist system than they ever could with women (because, yes, women are non-white at the same rate as men).

    This comments extra irony note: The original privilege checklist was one written by a white feminist about race privilege in a paper discussing simultaneous privilege and oppression.

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