Women: Completely useless, or only partly?

Women: They can't even walk properly

Have you ever sat down to write up a little list of pros and cons, only to find that you can't think of any pros at all? That was the dilemma faced by a number of regulars on the grotesquely misnamed NiceGuy MGTOW [Men Going Their Own Way] forums when the subject of "what women offer" to men came up the other day. Nightstorm introduced the topic thusly:

It just seems women cannot offer a man anything these days. The days of "well.. I have a pussy", just doesn't seem to cut it anymore.

Don't I know it! I can't tell you how many conversations I've had with the ladies that go just like this:

INTERIOR, FANCY RESTAURANT, EVENING

DAVID sits eating a delicious steak while his date, a SEXY LADY, picks nervously at her tiny salad.

DAVID: 

So why am I paying attention to you?

SEXY LADY

(brightly)

Well, I have a pussy.

DAVID: 

A pussy, you say?

SEXY LADY

Yeah. Right down here, in my pants.

DAVID: 

That might work with some guys, but that it ain't gonna work with me! Pussy just doesn't cut it any more! 

SEXY LADY:

But, pussy?

DAVID

(Holding up hand)

Meet Pamela Hand-erson -- the only pussy I'll ever need!

SEXY LADY quietly weeps.

DAVID
Oh, by the way, you're paying for dinner.

And ... scene!

Nightstorm, a fair and open-minded fellow, did concede that women had some good points, a few of them anyway, and set out to write up a list of pros and cons. First, the pros. Read this carefully, ladies. These are the only good things you bring to the table:

Pros:

Pussy
Emotional support (if its a decent chick) which can ranged from listening to you, to snuggling, ect.
Sammichs
Something cute to look at while they are young
A cure for lonliness

Yes, "lonliness." Spell-checking is for bitches and hoes.

Predictably, Nightstorm's "Cons" list was a lot longer. Some selected highlights:

Bankrupcy. A chick will cause your wealth to go DOWN. One of my cousins knew a guy who would literally be a millionare if his wife didn't spend.
Bitching. Yes, they nag and vex your soul to death when they do not get their little ways.
Manipulation and Control. What? You don't want to do the dishs for me? No sex tonight!!!
...
Loud. Women have high pitched voices, who's bright idea was it to use it all the time making screetching noises?
Trashy. Once they get what they want (marriage), then they stop working on themselves. Now they let themselves go.
Divorce. See Bankrupcy. Once you wake up to these ho's, they have alittle secret.. their taking HALF of what you own.
Cheaters. They will go sleep with other men if things don't work out with you, you don't mind.. right?
Entitlement. They deserve it all because they have been born with a pussy hole.
Dangerous. You can't be you around women. One false word and it could be jail time for you till the manginas say its enough.

Naturally, others piped up with their own observations. Not many "pros." Lots of "cons." Some found it hard to think of a single good thing to say about women. IHateRegistering summed up his feelings with an enigmatic one-liner, declaring women: "Reused and retreaded wares at government-mandated retail prices." (Uh, what?) Cherishthehate, living up to his name, concluded that women were more or less entirely useless:

I have let this question ruminate for the last couple of hours while doing other stuff. Basically I came up with nothing.

Pussy? Meh. ...  I once thought of trying gay just to get a decent blowjob. (jk of course :) ) ...

Companionship? Again, I have known very few women who you could have a decent conversation with that didn't focus on clothes, TV or their friends' love lives. ...

Women basically contribute nothing to a relationship, the onus is always on the man to keep them happy. If you ever ask a woman what she brings to the table in a relationship you will be mostly met with blank stares. It is a total non sequitur for them.

True, a couple of commenters did stand up to defend the virtues of women. Well, sort of. Seems like the ladies can be worth keeping around, so long as you keep them in check. As fschmidt put it:

I would like to remind the gentlemen here that most of the cons listed are the result of mistakes made by men, mistakes like giving women the vote. When properly managed, women are an asset.

Ah, giving women the right to vote. I always knew that was a terrible idea.

That and modern sanitation.