Tuesday, December 7, 2010

Faking it

Should this be the MGTOW logo?
So some researchers at the University of Kansas asked a couple of hundred college students some very personal questions, and as a result we now know that lots of guys fake orgasms. 25% of the guys reported that they'd faked an orgasm at least once, often as a quick way to bring sex to an end. Roughly half the women were orgasm-fakers.

One college newspaper reporting on the study quoted a sex counselor who suggested a couple of possible reasons for guys to fake it: kinky internet porn, which allegedly makes "vanilla" sex seem boring, and antidepressants. The first explanation I don't really buy, but the second makes perfect sense. Antidepressants are prescribed more than ever these days, and many of the most widely-used have relatively common sexual side effects -- one of them being increased difficulty reaching orgasm.

That explanation doesn't fly with W.F. Price over at The Spearhead. His theory, set forth in a recent post on the study: men can't come because so many women are ugly, boring, smelly creatures who make strange noises. Forget Paxil and porn. Instead, just remember that (emphasis added):

some women are lousy in bed, just plain unattractive or boring. One sexuality counselor suggests that men are becoming “harder to please,” yet doesn’t seem to consider the fact that young women are possibly harder to look at and listen to than ever.

The simple presence of a female – even a naked one – is not sufficient to arouse a man, but today’s women may not have internalized that fact. There are a number of things that can turn a guy off during sex, including unpleasant odors, unpleasant sights, loose flesh, annoying or ridiculous noises, a woman’s lack of interest or enthusiasm or even a woman’s overenthusiasm/dominant behavior.

I'm not going to try to unpack every last bit of he-man woman-hating in those two paragraphs, but ... "annoying and ridiculous noises?" Huh? Are women making fart sounds with their mouths? Practicing bird calls? Shouting out instructions in Klingon? Honking bicycle horns like Harpo Marx? I have no idea what sort of women Price is going out with, but I'm pretty sure most guys like the sounds women make during sex.

The other culprit in Orgasm-gate? Our "obsession with the female orgasm." Apparently men these days are forced by unfair social norms to ... actually care if the woman they're having sex with enjoys herself. Even if she's, you know, ugly.

Lots of young men feel pressured to have sex with women they are not all that attracted to, and today they are pressured to perform due to the obsession with the female orgasm, which sometimes results in men exhausting themselves by drilling away for unnaturally long periods of time. This can have a desensitizing effect and lead a man to want to simply end it in one way or another. And if she can fake it to get it over with, why can’t he? ... Actually, when sex becomes a chore for men and all about pleasing a demanding woman, it should be expected that some of them will look for excuses to cut it short.

Somehow I suspect that sex with guys who think like this is always a chore, for everyone involved.

19 comments:

  1. Mr. Price does have a point with his comment on "annoying and ridiculous noises." Young women watch porn too; they hear the fake moans and "yeah baby!" repeated umpteen times and think that's what the guys want. Porn really doesn't help young people get a realistic view of sex.

    Most of us (well maybe not!) eventually come to realize that sex combined with love is the best sex but the Spearhead gang will probably go to their graves without experiencing that pleasure.

    Really, it sounds like Mr. Price needs to just stop doing bar pick-ups and having one nighters; that shit just gets old and depressing, even for men!

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  2. ... men can't come because so many women are ugly, boring, smelly creatures who make strange noises

    Men must learn to say NO - why even to try it?

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  4. Bill Price should get himself a doll or a fleshlight. If he's cheap, he can head on over to the Happy Bachelor for instructions on how to make a 'cock tube' from a caulk tube. He may like it so much he won't leave his house for a month! There's just no need for him to frustrate himself further with real female human beings at all.

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  5. Okay. I have spent whole seconds coming up with a solution to Mr. Price's horrible problem.

    Hear me out, okay? Okay. Here it goes... If you don't find a person attractive, don't have sex with him or her.

    You can hold the applause.

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  6. @ LexieDi BUT THE PRESSURE, IT'S OVERWHELMING.

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  7. @ Nymeria:

    It must be over 9000!

    Yeah. Honestly? I've never had a guy come up to me and say "I feel sorry for you, fat woman, let us have a romp in the sheets to sooth this overwhelming guilt and pressure that has overcome my being."

    That would be extremely funny, though. It would give me a good laugh, though I wouldn't accept the sex.

    -Lexie Di.

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  8. Or they go on and on about how "foreign women are so much better because they're not BOSSY, like american women!" and then get offended if you say that's kind of creepy.

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  9. I like how they totally ignore the fact that women fake more orgasms than men.

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  10. "kinky internet porn, which allegedly makes "vanilla" sex seem boring" Wtf? As someone who is way over on the kinky side (and was long before I had access to the internet or porn, I had way to much fun with candle wax as an adolescant) I can say that it really isn't that hard to find other kinky people and that most kinky people can handle a little vanilla now and then. Also, as the study suggested that intercourse with fixed notions about order of orgasms were hugely related to faking, the very divergent from that script activities in kink move even further away. Kansas college students- they have weird ideas about what sex must be like and damned if they won't fake like that's satisfying for them even if it isn't. I don't know any kinksters that are that fucking sexually repressed.

    The anti-depressant thing also seems to be a red flag when college social events are saturated with another drug known to cause sexual dysfunction-alcohol.

    @LexieDi "I've never had a guy come up to me and say "I feel sorry for you, fat woman, let us have a romp in the sheets to sooth this overwhelming guilt and pressure that has overcome my being." So true.

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  11. "... due to the obsession with the female orgasm."

    The reason for the female orgasm is so that she can ejaculate, and impregnate the man.

    "...annoying or ridiculous noises..."

    This would include things like singing "On the Good Ship Lollipop" during intercourse, or belching the alphabet during foreplay.

    I know that most women think that kind of stuff is a turn-on, but actually, it isn't.

    Get out of your house more often, and lay off those video games David - experience life...

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  12. No man is obsessing with the female orgasm. There are men with low self esteem that obsess about performing. So, the female orgasm is about making THEM feel good, not the woman. When are MRA's going to come to grips with the fact that humans have egos and when we do crazy things for our ego, it's no ones fault but our own? Well, one could always blame the parents. That's a good fall back. Doesn't work so well after 25, you just look stupid blaming anyone but yourself. Yep, I slept with smelly dude/chic at the bar. I am Spartacus (Sp?).

    Ahh, whiskey dick. It brings back memories. Smelly smelly memories. LMAO. Good call, Dark.

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  13. Valerie said...
    No man is obsessing with the female orgasm...


    How do you know that? That's merely your presumption.

    That's not true in case the man is living with the same female partner for many years, even decades.

    Of course, if you talk only about US-hook-up culture for a 1-night-stand, you are right. Nobody cares about the other, but only about himself or herself...

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  14. Okay... Lets look at porn. Porn is mostly geared towards men. In most porn, the scene and sex ends when? When the male orgasms/ejaculates. Not the woman. In most cases, you don't even know if the woman has an orgasm.

    It's obvious that society in general is not worried about the female orgasm because if it were, we'd focus not only on the male orgasm and ejaculation, but the female orgasm as well.

    It's blind to say that men worry oh-so much about the woman's climax when we usually don't even mention it in porn which is all about sex. (Not real sex. But sex.)

    I even has a friend who has been having sex for quite a while and has never had an orgasm and has told me that none of her partners have asked her if she's had one.

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  15. If you have a sexual relationship as man with the SAME woman over a longer period of time (for several years), you will know what she likes and what not, and if she has an orgasm or not.

    And it's not that easy, sometimes it works out for him and sometimes for her and sometimes for both and sometimes it will just not work out, so you will look forward for next time...

    Of course a porno-movie is NOT real sex, it's produced for sexual satisfaction for men and men who are looking for such stuff do not consider the feelings of the woman on the screen and why should they do that?

    Same is with a prostitute, she is renting out her body for a certain time for the man who pays her for his pleasure. Of course he will consider his feelings only, why should he think about a possible orgasm of the woman?

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  16. I'm not saying that a man watching porn should worry about the pleasure of the woman on screen. There's, of course, nothing he can do about that.

    What I'm saying is that porn focuses on the male orgasm and ejaculation. That's even called the "money shot." It perpetuates a society that doesn't give much of a crap about the female orgasm.

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  17. Yes, production of porn focuses on the male orgasm, that's because men pay for that.

    Many straight men feel lonely, cannot find anybody... so they pay for sex, what else can they do?

    If you are against porn, you should mention about this issue to women who like money...

    I cannot call such a woman, who is voluntarily a prostitute, nude model or porn-star to be a victim.

    My personal opinion is MRA related. I recommend all men not to spend money for bars, girls, porn.

    Better save your money for something else, try to overcome your loneliness and sexual desires somehow differently... motor-cycle, travels...

    Do not give money to women for sex!

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  18. Yohan:

    Did I say I was against porn? No.

    Actually, I've talked and know quite a few men who would like porn to focus on the male and female orgasms more equally.

    "I cannot call such a woman, who is voluntarily a prostitute, nude model or porn-star to be a victim."

    Did I call anyone a victim? No. But the key word in your sentence is "voluntarily."

    I don't know if you know this... but many feminists (all feminists that I know and know of) are for equality and not for female superiority.

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  19. I gotta be honest, if my partner started barking out instructions in Klingon, that'd totally do it for me. Trekkie sex is the bomb.

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