My Secret Life as a Group of Women

Not that there's anything wrong with that.

One of the weirder pleasures of writing this blog is that, from time to time, as I wend my way across the assorted gathering holes of the manosphere, I discover the natives chattering candidly about little old me, apparently forgetting that I actually read the forums they hang out on. These conversations tend to be a little, well, surreal.

You may vaguely remember The Troll King from a post of mine a couple of weeks back on his brief career as a faux-feminist calling herself the Feminist Troll Queen. I recently found him in the Men’s Rights subreddit on Reddit, trying to defend himself against charges of, well, trolling, and suggesting that some of the subreddit’s resident trolls are “manboobz followers and probably feminists from feministe.” (Not that I know of.) But the strangest thing was this reference to me as a person of indeterminate gender:

I saw him talking about not being able to become pregnant on one of his posts recently about gangbangs and MGTOW and I wouldn't be surprised if it is a female with a male internet persona or maybe a FTM transperson??

Whaaaa? It took me a little while to figure out that he was referring to a dumb joke I made at the tail end of my post about MGTOWers speculating on why some women like porn. Here’s the joke, such as it was:

Now, I’m no evolutionary psych expert, but, er, what exactly is the evolutionary advantage of facials? I’m pretty sure you can’t get pregnant from semen on your forehead, in your eyes  or, say, up your nose. (At least I never have.)

Hey, I didn’t claim it was a good joke. In any case, for anyone confused by it, the idea was to humorously suggest that I was such a frenzied masturbator that I regularly shot semen up my own nose. And that this had never made me pregnant. Not only because the semen was in my nose rather than my vagina but because, you know, I’m a non-transgender dude, and non-trans dudes can't get pregnant. (Also, even if the semen were to get in my vagina I wouldn't get pregnant, because I DON'T HAVE A VAGINA.) (Some trans men can get pregnant, but THEY CAN'T GET PREGNANT FROM SEMEN UP THE NOSE either. NO ONE CAN.)

For the record, I would also like to point out that have never actually shot semen up my nose – or, for that matter, on my forehead or in my eyes.

Not that there’s anything wrong with that.

In any case, Troll King’s confusion about my gender – especially strange, given that he himself had just engaged in a bit of internet cross-dressing by posing as the Feminist Troll Queen -- got me thinking back on one of the more surreal aspects of my domestic violence debate with Paul Elam last fall, which was the assumption on the part of a group of his followers that I was not just a woman, but a whole group of them.

As “Frank” put it:

“David Futrelle” argues like a provocative feminist woman, or perhaps I should put a group of feminist women. 

Note the personal abuse, the petty point scoring, the personalised arguments, and the lack of any real evidence or examination of the issues under discussion.

There is also the (supposedly) witty sarcasms, and the (supposedly) funny rudeness while ignoring hard points backed up real evidence. So typical of the misandrist feminist woman.

“Roderick” concurred:

I suspect the the sarcastically named Manboobz is a group of young ‘educated’ woman.

– note: {Often I have found that mediocre woman always work in groups. Woman who have higher abilities tend to work independently from the protective huddle.} (Who bravely hide from accountability or challenge)

“Alphabeta,” meanwhile, has a slightly different take on it:

I wonder if Futrelle is a woman disguised as a man or perhaps a woman in the making. His/her words have the whirr of the hamster wheel about them.

Remember this?

http://mensnewsdaily.com/2010/04/22/mens-studies-foremost-authority-opts-for-castration-literally/

What right-thinking man advertises his intellectual wares as ‘manboobz’? Sounds like wishful thinking at the very least.

Yes, he's arguing that this blog is called "Man Boobz" because I want some.

I don't, actually.

Not that there's anything wrong with that.

So, once again, to clarify: misogynist dudes, when I refer to “boobz” in the title of this blog I am referring to you. It’s a double entendre. “Boobs,” yes, can refer to breasts. But “boob” can also mean “an ignorant or foolish person.” Do you see where I’m going with this? YOU GUYS ARE MEN, AND YOU ALSO ARE BOOBS. The “Boobz” in “Man Boobz” ARE YOU.

She's my sister... She's my daughter... My sister, my daughter.  She's my sister AND my daughter!

Oh dear. I got carried away.

I should probably explain that the last bit there was from Chinatown. I do not have a sister who is also a daughter. Evelyn Mulwray does. But she’s not a real person.



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Something Awful visits The Spearhead Forum

 

This weekend, Something Awful gives its readers a little tour of The Spearhead Forum and some of its more colorful fauna. I've borrowed the screenshot above from them. Hagslave entrainment! Yeasty oblivion!

The Spearhead Forum is if anything a little weirder than The Spearhead itself. It is also the main stomping ground of a fellow named Zebert, who has many, well, innovative ideas about how to solve all the problems of the world (e.g. forbidding education for women, prohibiting gatherings of more than four women at a time, removing the voiceboxes from baby girls at birth).

The Something Awful folks have gathered up quite a few of his most intriguing posts, and many others of equal value. Head over there now and enjoy. 

Sex-ed for assholes. And non-assholes, too.

Note: Girlfriend pillows are not actual girlfriends.

Men Going Their Own Way have some problems with sex. One of the biggest? Despite their best efforts to totally and completely avoid women -- which some reason always seems to involve spending hours online every day talking about women -- sometimes it will somehow come to pass that hapless MGTOWers will find themselves actually having sex with a woman. As you might imagine, this experience may not be altogether pleasant for either party involved.  Indeed, in my most recent post, I quoted one poor non-virgin MGTOWer who declared that “having sex with a woman is like humping a moist pillow: It doesn't join in and you can hardly tell the difference.”

What this young man has described is not “sex” so much as “really, really bad sex.” Fortunately, it can be prevented! The most obvious way, already hit upon by many MGTOWers, is to not have sex with women at all. If you despise and resent the entire female gender, it is probably best to not get naked with individual members of that gender. The women of the world will be happy to go along with you on this point, trust me.

But on the off chance that some MGTOWers might be willing to dial down their woman-hatred enough to actually contemplate sex with women, I would like to offer some tips on how to improve the experience for everyone.

First, to make absolutely sure that sex won’t come to resemble “humping a moist pillow,” make sure that your sexual partner is not, in fact, a moist pillow. 

This is a simple fix, and one that is often overlooked. 

If your partner is not actually a pillow but a live human woman, well, I will now give the floor to Ozymandias, who recently posted an extremely helpful list of suggestions in the comments here. Here it is again for anyone who might have missed it::

OZYMANDIAS SEX EDUCATION TIEMZ GO!

So all the sex you've had with women, Zaku, has vaguely resembled fucking a moist pillow. I understand and empathize with your sadness about your sex life. However, young padawan, there are methods of solving this.

*Are all of your partners virgins or in high school? Virgins and high schoolers are terrible at sex, particularly if both are inexperienced. I personally was on my third partner before I was any good in bed.

FIX: Find your local cougar, slut or sexually assertive woman.

*Was your partner someone with sexual hang-ups? Slut-shaming often makes women think that enthusiasm makes them "bad girls", and ideas of men-earning-sex often make women think that lying there is their contribution to sex.

FIX: Have sex with feminists.

*Are you simply not that good in bed? This is a common problem among inexperienced men, and can lead to women not enjoying sex because it is not that enjoyable.

FIX: Learn the location of the clit (with an anatomy chart, if necessary). Listen to her instructions about sex. If she's moaning, KEEP DOING THAT. Try to give her at least one orgasm before you stick your dick in (be reasonable, if she's begging "stick it in me", go ahead, but it's a good guideline). Suck it up about the taste and learn to love eating pussy. Make sure you give her adequate foreplay (AT LEAST five minutes). Touch and kiss parts of her besides her breasts and pussy. Most of all, confidence and joy, confidence and joy.  [Editor’s Note: As briget has noted in the comments, if you really, really don’t like the taste of pussy, you can always use a dental dam; google the term if you don’t know what that is.]

*Was your partner very, very drunk? Bad sign. Sober people participate more.

FIX: If she's passed out or puking, don't fuck her.

*Was your partner freezing up, softly repeating "no, no, no", or otherwise clearly not enjoying herself? Then you may have had what is technically referred to as "nonconsensual sex," or by us Femicunt Queens of Nofunnington, "rape."

FIX: Seek affirmative, enthusiastic consent. This is shown by her, for example, ripping off your clothes, chanting "yes", sucking your cock without being asked, etc. If you are confused if she is consenting, feel free to ask "do you want to (have sex, make out, have me suck your tits, etc.)?" If you hear words like "no" and "stop," STOP IMMEDIATELY.

OZYMANDIAS SEX EDUCATION TIEMZ OVER.

Generally speaking, this is good advice for all inexperienced hetero dudes interested in improving their sex lives and the sex lives of their partners. (PROTIP: Improving the sex life of your partner will dramatically improve your sex life too.) With a few changes in wording to reflect different anatomies, as Oz herself points out, this is also good advice for straight women, gay women, gay men, trans men and women, bisexuals, and everyone else who is interested in having sex with some subset of their fellow human beings.

Just to reiterate one point: no one is a sexual expert from the get-go. There’s no shame in sexual inexperience. But it is sort of a douchebag move to blame the entire opposite sex for bad sex if you don’t know what the fuck you are doing in bed.  It takes some time, and some actual giving-a-shit-about-what-the-other-person-likes in order to get good at it. Generally speaking, if you like and respect your sexual partners, gaining this experience and expertise should be a highly enjoyable endeavor. Even if you don’t yet have much in the way of skills, a little bit of enthusiasm can go a long way. Also: you’re allowed to actually ask the other person what he or she likes and doesn’t like. This can prevent all sorts of awkwardness and encourage all sorts of fun sexy times.

Which brings us to another point worth reiterating: if there’s no shame in sexual inexperience, there’s no shame in sexual experience either. Sexually inexperienced women don’t know what they’re doing any more than sexually inexperienced guys do. So, guys, if you want to get with women who actually do know what they are doing, don’t look down on women for having sexual experience. If you’re a slut shamer, you basically have no right to complain if your partners are bad in bed. If you’re one of those dickheads who thinks women all become hags the instant they hit 25, or 30, guess what: you’ve ruled out having sex with the overwhelming majority of the women who are actually really really good at it. 

And while we’re at it: Taking the time to sit down and read about sexual techniques can speed up the process of getting good at sex enormously. If you don’t know how to find the g-spot, well, here you go.  You’re welcome. Lots more useful shit here and here, along with plenty of suggestions for awesome sexy-time book learnin. If you think you’re somehow above reading about sex, well, too bad: that’s what you’ve just been doing! 

If after all this you find that your partner is still lying there like a moist pillow, and you’ve ruled out sexual hangups, sexual inexperience and/or less-than-enthusiastic consent, there are a few other possibilities to look at: 

      1) She (or he) might be having libido problems because of depression – or due to side effects of depression meds – or for some other medical or biological reason. Time to see a doctor.

      2) She (or he) might be asexual. Some people just aren’t into sex. You’ll have to figure out yourselves what this means for your relationship. And that might mean: no more relationship. If you’re really into sex, and partner isn't, neither one of you is doing the other a favor by sticking around. 

3) She (or he) might actually be a selfish asshole. Selfish assholes tend to suck at sex. Try not to have sex with them. And don’t blame their entire gender for it. And if you're a selfish asshole, try not to have sex with anyone yourself.

Feel free to share your own tips (and links) in the comments. Learning more about sex and sexuality = good for everybody.

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*Yes, that was a Bioshock reference.

Feminists: Lizard-brained sperm-hunters

Men: Do not do this.

Our good friend Herbal Essence -- the Spearhead commenter, not the shampoo -- is back with some profound insights into the true nature of feminism. Forget all the stuff you may have learned in your Women's Studies courses. Forget what you read about on Feministing. "Feminism" is just a convenient rationalization for a primal female hunger. A hunger for cupcakes? A hunger for shoes? No, silly -- a hunger for sperm. Feminism is all about getting hold of sexy, sexy sperm. Herbal explains, in a comment that garnered him 81 upvotes from the manly men on The Spearhead:

Feminism is not a worldview based on coherent thought. It is the desires of the female lizard-brain rationalized. Feminism is based on a woman’s reproductive strategy – my vagina makes me special, I must obtain sexy sperm, I deserve to be protected, and I deserve to get resources.

I don't know about "protection" and resources for women and their special vaginas, but you might think that there would have to be a more efficient way for the ladies to get sperm. After all, most guys produce that sexy stuff by the bucketful, and the vast overwhelming majority of the poor little sperms that men produce so prodigiously end up dying unsung and unrealized in condoms or kleenex.

Apparently, though, feminists only want sperm when it comes as a part of a package deal which involves being married to a captive sperm- and money-producer. Because there is nothing -- besides sperm, of course -- that feminists like better than the traditional nuclear family. That way they can sit on their asses eating bon bons and trying on shoes -- all paid for by their long-suffering husbands -- while waiting for the next injection of sperm. (You thought feminists likes paying their own way and having their own careers? Ha! Shows how much you know.) Here's Herbal again:

The whole of Feminism was designed to “free” women from the “restrictions” of traditional society so she could obtain sexy sperm, and then providing a social construct so she could get security and resources without being in the confines of a nuclear family. Thus making more sexy sperm and self-indulgence available. Lastly, that she “deserves” all that because she has a vagina.

And all those traditional-nuclear-family-loving women who claim not to be feminists? Fellas, they're either lying to themselves, or lying to you.

Women don’t choose to believe in feminism. Feminism is a rationalization of their lizard brain. That’s why you can talk to women who will swear up and down they are not feminists, yet they refuse to give ground on any of the privileges that feminism gave them. The programming is already in her, feminism is just the means to make it a reality. You might as well try to convince female peacocks not to mate with males with impressive plumage.

Fellas, I think Herbal here has made it pretty clear why you need to protect your sperm from the feminists. If you make the mistake of actually having sex with one of these creatures, keep a bottle of tabasco sauce handy, and squirt it into your used condoms to make sure she doesn't fish them out of the wastebasket later to use for her own evil ends. And if you're jizzing into kleenexes, flush those down the toilet, pronto. If you just throw them out, beware: gangs of feminists rove the alleys of America, much like raccoons, raiding trash cans in search of sexy, sexy manstuff.

Be careful out there.

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*Yes, that was a Bioshock reference.

No Sperm for Feminists!

Don't let her have it! She reads Pandagon!

Hey, fellas, you know that stuff that comes out of your penis when you masturbate? Whatever you do, don't give it to a feminist! No matter how nicely she asks! Especially -- I repeat, ESPECIALLY -- if she wants to put it in her vagina. It is the KEY TO EVERYTHING!!! Rebel, commenting on angry-dude mecca The Spearhead, explains:

If feminists do not breed, they will disappear. ...

We have complete control over female reproduction, CONTRARILY to what most think. We hold the spark of life in our hands (polite form..)

Simple: NO DNA TRANSFER is it.

That’s why I said: don’t give your seeds.
Without them, women become TOTALLY powerless.
If we set our minds to it, collectively, two generations at most and the problem is gone.
I say:”Breed the suckers out”. Period. Don’t have sex with feminists.
Don’t have sex with those who hate you.
Breed the feminists OUT!!

Our grandchildren will then have a working society back.

I actually think this plan will be remarkably easy to implement. I don't really think many feminists are lining up to collect sperm from Spearheaders.

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*Yes, that was a Bioshock reference.

The Mousetrap Vagina

We return again to a young up-and-comer on NiceGuy's MGTOW forum, a fellow calling himself Nightstorm. Though a proud virgin, Nightstorm has some highly advanced theories about vaginas and the women who host them:

Its almost like a mouse trap is on a womans vagina, where when a men has to carefully insert his penis hoping not to spring the trap. If he is successful, he gets a free ride. If he is like most men, unsucessful, the trap springs, claps his penis into the vagina of the woman, and soon poisnous venom streams from her vagina and injects itself into the male genital.

This poison then creeps into the male brain and literally makes him stupid, it shuts down his intellect, and activates all his hormones for more pussy. She's got the bastard. Now she can slowly but surely take all his wealth and keep pumping more poison into him. The man feels trapped, he can't remove his penis from the vagina for the life of him, but he enjoys that pussy, so he continues to let himself get robbed.

Emphasis added.

It's astounding that he's able to discern so much about vaginas despite having had no actual contact with them since the moment of his birth.

Luckily for him, and luckily for the women of the world, Nightstorm has no plans to acquire any hands-on (or, more precisely, penis-in) experience with vaginas in the near future. In a later comment, he spells out some of the reasons for his continued abstinence (besides the whole poison-mousetrap thing): fear of STDs, fear of pregnancy, and fear of, well, this scenario:

if she was a virgin, how I would have to deal with the hassle of possible bleeding. Its not so hott when I make her spew red and white blood cells all over the sheets and doing it in the bathtub would required poor foreplay and not comfortable or roomy space. If she is a heavy weight girl, then there goes my bathtub, broken.

And if if, say, he's somehow able to avoid the perils of STDs, pregnancy, icky blood and a broken bathtub, then what?

Well, then I would have to deal with her wanting more in the relationship, such as meeting her family, or perhaps even paying her for it, or her expecting some sort of "favor" in return for sex which we both equally enjoyed. 

Yeah, nothing ruins a nice evening of dipping your penis in a bloody, poison-infused mousetrap like the owner of said mousetrap asking you to meet her parents. 

EDITED TO ADD: Sometimes people complain that I focus on the weird fringes of the MGTOW world. Thing is, within the MGTOW world, these things aren't regarded as weird or fringey. Indeed, one of the comments I quoted above from Nightstorm was just highlighted on MarkyMark's blog as an example of MGTOW thinking at its finest:

I've said it before, and I'll say it again: we truly have some of the BEST & BRIGHTEST men in the world on there [that is, on NicGuy's MGTOW forum]!  What you're about to read will provide yet more proof of that.

Anyway, NowhereMan & Nightstorm were discussing CNN piece about how men supposedly have the upper hand in sexual matters.  What they say is gold, pure gold!  It's stuff that my boys should read and heed. ...

Even if you're not religious, there are PRACTICAL reasons for avoiding sex with women.  The most important of these is to keep your power.  Sex is a woman's 'nuclear option'; take that away, and you take away a woman's power over you. 

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On Herpes and Hypergamy

Peggy Olson has no time for pseudoscientific PUA crap.

Note: As regular Man Boobz comment readers will notice, this post is an expanded version of some comments I made here and here.

An extraordinary number of men in the "manosphere" -- whether they're wannabe Pick-up artists or woman-avoiding Men Going Their Own Way -- have a very strange notion of what goes on (and what doesn't go on) behind the closed doors of America's bedrooms. (And sometimes in the bathrooms of dive bars.) They envision a world in which a small number of men are having all the sex they want, with any women they want, while the rest of the men out there -- at least the straight ones --  are condemned to lives of celibacy or near-celibacy.

So who gets blamed for this (imagined) state of affairs? Women. And something called "hypergamy."

The term refers to the practice of "marrying up"in social class. But the dudes of the manosphere aren't merely content to accuse women of being mere gold-diggers. They've combined the notion of hypergamy with some ill-digested evolutionary psych speculations and convinced themselves that women are in fact a giant gang of nymphomaniacal sexual status seekers, compelled by their very genes to throw themselves at the males on top of the sexual heap -- variously described as alphas, jocks, bad boys, and thugs.

And, since men are similarly programmed to spread their seed far and wide -- by which I mean fuck anything that moves -- these women are getting all the attention from the alphas that their hearts and loins desire, while themselves making beta guys beg for scraps, or, more often, rejecting them outright. Or so goes the theory.

Naturally, those manosphere men who find themselves sitting on the sidelines of this  (imagined) orgy tend to build up a great deal of bitterness about this (imagined) state of affairs.

This little mythical tale of alpha males and the hypergamic nymphomaniacs who love them (long time) is repeated again and again on the blogs and message boards of the manosphere. But is there any real convincing evidence for any of this? I haven't seen any yet.

But in a post earlier this year one of the more influential bloggers in the manosphere, a pick-up guru of sorts who calls himself Roissy, claimed he had found something like the smoking gun of hypergamy:

Twice as many women as men have genital herpes. This could only happen if a smaller group of infected men is giving the gift of their infectious love to a larger group of women. Looks like female hypergamy is conclusively proved.

As evidence for this claim, Roissy pointed to a survey by the Centers for Disease Control which found that some "21 percent of women were infected with genital herpes, compared to only 11.5 percent of men." (That link takes you to the Reuters article Roissy cited in his blog post; the CDC's press release on the survey can be found here.)

Case closed? Not exactly. Had Roissy actually bothered to read all of the news story he cited, or the CDC press release, or done even a minute or two of Googling,  he would have seen the real explanation for the disparity: because of biological differences between men and women -- you know, the whole penis vs vagina thing -- it's simply much easier for women to be infected with herpes. As one online FAQ notes (and I've put the key parts in bold):

Women are approximately 4 times more likely to acquire a herpes simplex type 2 infection than men. Susceptible women have a higher likelihood of contracting genital herpes from an infected man than a susceptible man becoming infected by a woman. In other words, if a non-infected man and woman each have intercourse with an infected partner, the woman is more likely than the man to contract a herpes simplex virus infection. ...

Women may be more susceptible to genital herpes infections because:

* The genital area has a greater surface area of cells moist with body fluids (mucosal cells) than men.
*Hormone changes during a woman’s menstrual cycle may affect the immune system, making it easier for the herpes simplex virus to cause an infection.

You'd think a sex guru would know enough about herpes to know this, wouldn't you?

Johnny's Turn to Cry

Boo fucking hoo.

As many of you have no doubt noticed -- what with the literally dozens of news stories and op-ed pieces on the subject that have appeared in the media in the last week or so -- incoming Speaker of the House John Boenher is a bit of a weeper. While some have scoffed at his public crying jags, quite a few people, including some who don't like his politics at all, have stepped forward to defend his right to cry.

Women have been especially quick to jump to his defense, at least when it comes to the crying thing. In the Washington Post, Ruth Marcus announced that she wanted "to celebrate the lachrymose speaker-to-be and hope that he helps make the world safe for public crying." Rachel Maddow devoted a whole segment of her show to a defense of his shows of emotion -- while pointing out that while Boehner has been moved to tears by the plight of American schoolchildren, his policies will inevitably result in massive budget cuts for education.

But the most, er, original interpretation of the whole crying thing comes from one commenter on NiceGuy's MGTOW [Men Going Their Own Way] forum, who sees this female defense of Boehner's  right to cry  as ... an evil female plot to make him look bad. As Phloridian put it in a recent posting:

By now many of us have become aware of the crying episodes of John Boehner who is soon to become the next Speaker of the House.

Women all over the media have been insisting that it is alright, but snickering about it covertly. The piece on 60 Minutes has virtually doomed any chance of becoming President and he is beginning to become a laughing stock.

This is why women are not to be trusted. They will encourage men to cry, and expose their vulnerabilities all in an effort to weaken the man. That's what's being done here and it sickens me.

Women are devious creatures indeed! It makes me want to cry.

Sperm: It's What Women Crave!

They want your sperm.

Remember that scene in Dr. Strangelove in which General Jack D. Ripper starts ranting about a  "international Communist conspiracy to sap and impurify all of our precious bodily fluids?" Gen. Ripper, of course, was worried about the purported evils of fluoridation. Also, he was a fictional character. But now the "manosphere" has done him one better. A recent post on the Muslim Patriarch blog suggests, with utmost sincerity, that women never truly love men -- they just love our most precious bodily fluid. Sperm. 

Yep. Fellas, apparently we're nothing but giant sperm repositories to the ladies. So what evidence has the Muslim Patriarch, aka Samvel Arshavir, got for his novel theory? He claims that his wife seems to treat him worst after the two of them have sex, when his "sperm reserves" are largely depleted. (Emphasis added.)

On the days immediately following an ejaculation, my wife loses all love and respect for me. She treats me like garbage. ... I used to think that I have done something wrong for her to so suddenly lose all love for me. ...

When I finally understood what was going on, when I understood that it all depended on the amount of sperm stored inside of me, I saw the humor in this love that everyone talks about. ... Her love is just a way that nature tells me I have a lot of sperm in my reserves.

Arshavir notes that he hasn't exactly done the scientific experimentation to prove his new theory. But he has made some careful observations:

My idea of 'sperm reserve' isn't related to anything that scientists say. It is something I have found with experience. If you ejaculate twice or more in one day, the next day your reserves will be around 10%. Women have two terms for this level: douche bag and loser. On day 2 your reserves will go up to 25%. Day 3 they will be at 40%. Day 4 at 50%. As your levels pass 50%, women will start respecting you and finding you attractive. At around two to three weeks of abstinence your levels will have gone to 90%. And when you get a wet dream ... you can then know that your levels reached 100%. The night before the wet dream you will be at your most irresistible-to-women phase.

As a former horny teenage boy, I respectfully must disagree with some of his calculations here: the male body seems capable of producing almost endless quantities of sperm upon demand.

But this is a question for the scientists amongst us to debate. Arshavir  has bigger fish to fry. His revelations about ladies and sperm have led him to question some of the most fundamental tenets of heterosexual love.

When I have 10 days worth of sperm saved inside of me, when my wife wants to make love to me three times a day, it doesn't any longer make me feel good about myself, because I now see that it is not an accomplishment. It is not because I am an awesome guy. It is just her animal nature responding to my biology.

This knowledge has freed me from the biggest fraud of our age. The fraud that tells us men to seek happiness in a woman's love. What a joke.

Ah, but there is a complication here. Unlike sperm-loving women, Arshavir argues, men still can feel love for the ladies. True love, not just crude ovary lust. The only trouble is that those sperm-loving creatures don't really deserve our love.

Ours is the spiritual love for another being. Theirs is the love for our biology. Their love for our sperm reserves could have easily been a love for big muscles. In both cases it is a purely physical love--nothing that deserves our spiritual love.

So where can a poor fellow find true love today? Dudes.

And I now realize why men like W. S. Maugham become homosexual after delving deep into the nature of women. Once you know that romantic love doesn't make sense to women ... the next logical step is to find a man to love.

If you look for true love, you can only find it in another man.

Wait -- "another man?" Seriously? That sounds a little -- what's the word I'm looking for here? -- gay. Isn't this blog titled "Muslim Patriarch?" But don't worry. Our intrepid patriarchal blogger hasn't gone all gay on us. He is quick to add the obligatory "NO HOMO," in the parlance of our times. Love other men, but just do it in a totally non-gay way.

The idea of having sex with another man is utterly disgusting to me. The mistake of men like Maugham is that they fail to separate love from sex. ...

The correct thing to do as I see it is to save our deep, romantic and spiritual feelings of love for male friends, while maintaining sexual relationships with women. ...

Apparently, men are from Mars, women are for penis.

[A] man's romantic love is completely wasted on women. ... Had you used your love on another man, you'd have gotten a loving friend for life. With a woman, no matter how much love you spend on her, her love for you will be no more than your sperm-reserve levels. ...

A healthy culture would have taught us men to love other men, and would have taught us not to take women seriously.

This man's wife is lucky indeed.

EDIT: More on ladies and their sperm-love here.

No Sperm, No Peace: Crazy MRA Quote of the Day

Women are totally into this shit.

Sperm: It's What Women Crave. At least according to a post today on What Men Are Saying About Women. So where does that leave lesbians? Up shit creek without a paddle, or, more precisely, up the vagina without a flagellum:

Unlike heterosexual females the lesbians haven't got a chance in hell ... no sperm, no peace ... Butch lesbians may think they are a male but without sperm they are just sad, pathetic imitators of the real thing without the benefits.

The MRA who posted it, who quite conveniently goes by the name of MRA, is basing his highly scientific conclusion on a weird study from a number of years back which found that women who had unprotected spermy sex with men were happier than women whose partners used condoms; apparently semen is a kind of magic happy juice. Never mind that according to his logic, men who wear condoms should also be considered "sad, pathetic imitators of the real thing" as well.