T-Shirts Are Here!

The Man Boobz Store is open for business on Zazzle!

Mammoths and Cupcakes and t-shirts, oh my! So far we've got 5 t-shirt designs, illustrating 2 different boob utterances: "We hunted the mammoth to feed you," and "Underneath that fun cupcake is a MONSTER." You can pick the color and quality of the t-shirt, put the designs on a hoodie or a baby doll t-shirt or pretty much whatever you want. There are also stickers, coffee mugs, and an assortment of other swag. And I take requests: if there is something that Zazzle sells that you want to have a Man Boobz graphic on, let me know in the comments and I'll make it available.

Order now! Zazzle has a coupon for $5 off on t-shirts (the coupon code is listed on Zazzle); it expires on Monday. 

Big thanks to JohnnyKaje, who designed the t-shirts and provided a lovely mammoth cartoon (and who's got a Zazzle store too), and Shaenon, who drew that deliciously monstrous cupcake. Thanks also to the folks at board.crewcial.org who gave me the idea for the t-shirts in the first place, and suggested the now-legendary mammoth quote.

All profits will go to charity -- specifically, to Planned Parenthood. I'm offering the T-shirts at a variety of different costs, depending on how much you want to donate. With the T-shirts, some are being sold with only a 10% royalty fee -- the lowest that Zazzle allows -- for those who can't afford a big donation; others are sold with a 30% or 50% royalty. The rest of the swag is being sold with a royalty fee of 20%. The amount you end up donating to PP depends on how expensive the item is and what the royalty rate is. For a Man Boobz postcard, you'll be donating all of 22 cents; for one of the more expensive t-shirt options at a 50% royalty, you'll be donating about $20. (The royalty fee goes to me; I will send it along to PP.)

If you want to donate more than this, or if you need a receipt for tax purposes, donate directly here.

Depending on how this goes, I may decide to add some more t-shirt designs based on other strange quotes from the boobz. Make me proud.



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*Yes, that was a Bioshock reference.

Ruthless Lady-People: Short-haired, smelly, muffin-eating lady-people

Women not only eat muffins -- they decapitate them!

Over on an angry-man site that would be called The Pearhead if you removed an "S" from its name, a fellow named Alcuin has a few complaints about the ladies. Let's listen in, shall we?

Western women are ruthless. They will destroy a family with a lifestyle divorce, and ruin her husband without thinking of their lives. ...

Ah yes, the old lifestyle divorce. There's little that Western women enjoy more than a nice divorce. Well, aside from accusing men of rape, and playing slutty dressup, and going to work:

They will accuse a man of rape when he did no such thing so they can get revenge for hurt feelings or to cover their own infidelity. They will dress like whores, then accuse men of being perverts and of sexual harassment. They will take all the cushy jobs and complain when men refuse to take the shit jobs, but act like “boys” instead.

But Alucin is just getting started. It gets worse:

They will cut their hair short, get fat, avoid shaving (their legs? their face?), smell, and then complain that men go for Asian women or none. They will take advantage of manginas for years, and give nothing in return for such dog-like loyalty. They will take jobs away from men, and become lazy, useless muffin-eaters.

That's right. You heard him. Women will actually CUT THEIR HAIR SHORT just to torment the men of the world with its shortness! Yet they will REFUSE to shave the hair off their legs! Which are FAT and STINKY! Also MUFFINS! They EAT MUFFINS! I'm not sure if this is supposed to be some sort of lesbian innuendo, or whether Alucin is referring to actual literal ingestion of delicious blueberry muffins, but I don't care. Either way, MEN ARE CLEARLY BEING OPPRESSED!

Why does writing this blog always make me so hungry? First, it gives me a craving for cupcakes, and now for muffins, the cupcakes' more demure cousin, the Cathy to its Patty. .

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*Yes, that was a Bioshock reference.

The Cupcake Files, Part Three: MGTOW Proboards Forum Edition

Delicious, but deadly!

As I pointed out in the previous two installments of  The Cupcake Files, the Men Going Their Own Way movement has taken the deliciously innocent word "cupcake" and turned it into a synonym for an evil-she-bitch-from-hell.

Today, quotes on "cupcake" from the MGTOW proboards forum. (I'm too lazy to provide links for every example; they all can be found by searching for the word "cupcake" on the forum.)

Cupcake: Uses more than her fair share of health care resources.

[O]utside of sports medicine, 90% of health care is consumed by cunts. Men usually die from our first encounter with the system (heart attack, accident, violence, etc.) It is the cunts and their breeding that devour most of the health care dollars spent in this country. Probably even higher when you consider most men have chronic conditions as a result of either dangerous work to support cupcake or they live in total and abject stress due to having a manipulative withholding shrew at home who has racked up so much debt the man knows he'll be working until he is 104.

Cupcake: A monster disguised as a cupcake.

Ever notice how the less attractive females generally have the better personalities? Why do you think that is? Do you think unattractive females are genetically predisposed to have fun, laid-back personalities?

No, of course not. They have better personalities because they are making up for a flaw in another department. They are getting away with the maximum they can get away with, but underneath that fun cupcake is a MONSTER.

Cupcake: Should probably be forbidden from using Facebook

If cupcake has a facebook account you are basically giving her a free pass to cheat on you. She will have old flings on her account, past men she was interested in, all it takes is for you to piss her off one day and she will have one these men provide a "shoulder to cry on".

Cupcake: Has a loaded gun, and it's pointed at YOU, mister!

The gun is loaded, cocked and pointed at your head. Cupcake has had her finger on the trigger from the moment you said "I do" and she will pull it the moment you cease to entertain her.

Cupcake: Tired of having sex with you, but enjoys luxury cruises.

I will admit, it feels good to eat, have sex, fall asleep, then wake up in again for morning sex but what guys don't realize is that this does not last indefinitely .

Eventually, you get pussyfied from all this pleasure and you start putting up with more and more female demands as her pussy chips away at you to the point where you wake up one day and you have 3 kids, no friends, no hobbies, you're overweight, she refused sex for the second week, and now you have to go to work in a few hours to put in a 12 hour shift because cupcake wants to go on a luxury cruise where she just might have sex with you; but even then, it won't be all that great because she's now overweight and don't care.

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The Cupcake Files, Part Two: NiceGuys Edition

Grr! Argh!

As I pointed out in The Cupcake Files: Part One, the Men Going Their Own Way movement has taken the deliciously innocent word "cupcake" and turned it into a synonym for evil-she-bitch-from-hell.

Today we continue our  look at the characteristics of a truly modern cupcake -- relying, this time, on the words of the good fellows at NiceGuy's MGTOW forum. (I'm too lazy to provide links for every example; they all can be found by searching for the word "cupcake" on NiceGuy.)


Cupcake: A fan of cocaine. And abusive criminals.

What attracts the hottest females today? Simple. He has to physically and emotionally abuse her, have a police record and a cocaine habit (and must share the coke with cupcake) then he fucks her up and down the stairs, gets her pregnant, then leaves her forever off to the next hairy hole.

Cupcake: Less interesting than your dude friends, except you can fuck her.

[T]ake away hormones and what's left?? You're going to hang around cupcake for: her intriguing political views?, her love of sports, cars and motorcycles?, her culinary skills and the fact that she's a selfless friend? Point is most women these days have NOTHING to offer a man & reply solely on exploiting men.

Cupcake: The cause of global warming.

Global warming is caused by women, why do you think rich men tear down the planet to make so much money, because some gold digging cunt has to have $20K in cloths a week, 3 SUV's a year, 8 million shoes, etc, etc

Women constantly brag that they control the world, well why are we blaming the guy destroying the forest to supply cupcake with bubble bath oil. That's like blaming the slave picking cotton.

Cupcake: Controller of the Nookie Faucet. Not obligated to stick around if she doesn't want to.

You can have all the discussions you want, but Cupcake has the unalienable right to Change Her Mind, at any time, for any reason or none.

Social convention, the divorce courts, a tradition of chivalry, and Cupcake's control of the nookie faucet all conspire such that if you don't meet her demands, as they change and evolve, you're fucking toast, Jack.

Stay tuned for The Cupcake Files: Part Three.

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The Cupcake Files, Part One: Happy Bachelors Edition

Available for purchase on Etsy

When you think of the word "cupcake," what pops into your head? A vision of a delicious miniature cake, on the general model of a muffin, with a topping of lovely creamy icing and perhaps a light dusting of sprinkles? Or do you imagine some evil vindictive bitch hell-bent on ruining your life?

If the latter, there's a good chance you're a Man Going Your Own Way. On the MGTOW message boards I read (so you don't have to), "cupcake" is the go-to insult when the regulars want to say something especially nasty about a woman that they, or some other man, once regarded as the epitome of sweetness and innocence. In the minds of some MGTOW, a cupcake is even worse than a cunt.

Let us look at the characteristics of a truly modern cupcake. We will start today with some statements from the fellows on the Happy Bachelors forum. (I'm too lazy to provide links for every example; they all can be found by searching for the word "cupcake" on HB's search page.)


Cupcake: Fucks up relationships just for the hell of it

The way things are going there is almost no incentive for a woman to maintain a relationship and there is always the knowledge that no matter what cupcake is like at the start she can destroy things completely whenever she feels like.

Cupcake: Only brings vagina to the table.

If you ever decide to get married, just ask cupcake what she will be bringing to the marriage other [th]an a vagina. Watch her squirm trying to answer that question.

Cupcake: Is the queen of food-related mixed metaphor

Some men, once they get a whiff off pussy, turn into jello in the hand of cupcake.

Cupcake: Something-or-other to do with Lord of the Rings, I can't figure it out.

If you want a Tolkien analogy, look no further then the 9 ring wraiths, once that magic ring got on their finger they were enslaved and drained of all life, nothing but shadow figures. Women will do that to any man, no exceptions, don't delude yourself into thinking you're special, you're not and you will be a source of amusement for cupcake as she emotionally torments you for her pleasure. Women hate not only men but they especially hate themselves, it's why they do what they do. Their behavior is that of a clinically insane inmate. Only the asylum is the real world and the few sane men must take refuge behind emotional bars.

 Tomorrow: Guys from NiceGuy's offer their take on the Cupcake Question.
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