Thursday, March 17, 2011

When Harry (Harddrive) Met Susie (Software): Sexbots in action

Susie will make your drive hard.
As long as we're talking sexbots, I thought I'd give you all a peek at two of the most advanced models available for purchase or (eww!) rent -- not ten or twenty years from now, but today! Assuming the company that built them is still in business.

Um, before you get your hopes up too high, fellas -- and ladies, as there is also a male version -- I should warn you that, as sexy as these bots are, they are still a little ways away from complete perfection. In fact, it is possible that viewing one of the videos of these bots in action -- or even seeing one of the animated gifs based on the videos -- much just possibly scar you for life. Granted, I couldn't get the videos to work, but, trust me, even the animated gifs will haunt your dreams forever.

With that out of the way, I invite you to read what the always entertaining and informative Scary Sextoy Friday blog has to say about Susie Software and Harry Harddrive (that's really what they're called), as well as to see the aforementioned gifs. You can learn more about the pair and their creator in this story on Nerve. Or in this story from the always tasteful and reliable Sun.

And then there is the sexbot website itself, a charmingly low-tech affair.


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*Yes, that was a Bioshock reference.


  1. I've just found the body my brain's downloading into after I die!

  2. From the "rentals" page of the website:
    Just Imagine the REACTION that
    Harry and Susie would generate
    at your next event.

    My money's on "fight or flight."

  3. Wow, you can rent one of these darlings? Do they have requirements on cleaning them afterward?

  4. Do they have requirements on cleaning them afterward?

    You know that spray they use on the shoes at the bowling alley?

  5. Ewwwwwwwwwwwww. Skeevy. Totally and completely skeevy.

    That's all I've got to say.

  6. You seem a little obsessed with these robots Dave...

    I wonder why?

  7. You seem a little obsessed with these robots Dave...

    I wonder why?

    He got his first erection to that episode of TNG where Tasha bones Data, and now he can't get it on without thinking about robots.

    Oh wait, that's me.

  8. Scarecrow--because they're funny?

  9. @JohnnyKaje - ok, I guess they are kind of funny...

    Maybe they should make a sitcom about them.

    And - Mr. Manboobz - how come I am no longer on your boob-roll?

    I can try harder to offend...

  10. Hey, remember that album Beck released that was kind of techno? I liked it, mostly, and I'm reminded of it because after the first song there's about a minute of strange sounds which Beck later described as being the sound of robots fucking.

  11. I can’t decide if I feel sorry for men reduced to this, or if it’s the greatest thing ever. On the one hand, its tragic that there are men out there who are so damaged. On the other hand, at least these dudes won’t breed.

    It’s the answer to all the worries of the MRA crybabies. This chunk of lifeless plastic can’t say no, can’t have babies that MRAs will have to avoid paying for, can’t leave them, doesn’t have thoughts, opinions, dreams or in fact any life at all. AND it gets MRAs out of the gene pool.

    Can you hear the collective sign of relief from women the world over?

  12. Or, I could have just read the previous thread. D'Oh.

  13. Argh, uncanny valley, uncanny valley! *shudder*

  14. @ Khym

    Yeah, those unseeing eyes are going to haunt me for a while. Ugh.

    Anyone who could find those dolls attractive rather than terrifying has a stonger stomach than I do. Nightmare fuel.

  15. Having them out of the gene pool and living with robots would help all of society. People tend to be like their parents. If the socially retarded stopped breeding I would assume there would be a higher degree of social intelligence in the long run.

    I've noticed that most of the mra's and mgtow's are conservative in their political leaning, although not all children follow in their parents political footsteps more do then don't.

    Another thing I've noticed is the shear amount of time mra's and mgtow's spend online posting in forums. Some must spend hours a day everyday.
    That leads me to believe that the prolific posters have both a poor work ethic and are physically out of shape. Both a work ethic and obesity are definitely unhealthy traits that are past down through generations.

    Speaking of work ethic, my payroll costs are huge. Funny how these boys are laughing about women being replaced by robots yet it’s never crossed their mind that industry has been replacing them with essentially robots and will continue to as technology advances.
    I can assure you that corporations that develop robot technologies are not thinking first along the lines of the vast amounts of sums they will receive by creating the sexy robot bride.

    Maybe they should worry instead about how they will pay for their perfect woman when they themselves have been rendered obsolete.

    Less social retardation, less conservatives, better work ethics and healthier life styles.

    It's a win win win win.

    And a bonus of course would be that hopefully they would take their significant other out in public. It would take years for that to get old and stop being hilarious! I really want to see Susy bot lying on the beach on vacation with her dream man.

  16. Scarecrow,

    I just looked at your blog and it really is quite funny and shows signs of wit.

    Why doesn't that translate over here? I'm really not trying to be rude I just feel it's worth pointing out to you that your not putting your best foot forward in my opinion.

  17. Scarecrow,

    I just looked at your blog and it really is quite funny and shows signs of wit.

    I checked out his blog expecting to disagree with you, but I was surprised. Usually my kneejerk hatred of MRAs wouldn't allow me to admit this, but ScareCrow is kind of funny on his blog, because he doesn't take himself too seriously.

    Play to your strengths, ScareCrow.

  18. ScareCrow-when was your last screed about how awful women are?

    Have you found that special someone and now are all gooey inside making it much harder to be a dick? :p

  19. Wait, those aren't real?? OMG TEH TECHNOLOGY

  20. While we're on the general subject, can we talk about the travesty that was the remake of Stepford Wives? Because even by awful Hollywood remakes standards, my God, did that movie blow.

  21. Scarecrow:

    I think more diarrhea jokes would do the trick. Those never get old. :)

  22. The sitcom, small wonder grows up?

    "She's a small wonder, a girl unlike other girls.....She's fantastic, made of plastic, microchips here and there. She's a small wonder, brings love and laughter everywhere."


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